Do not lose heart, then, my brother, in pursuing your spiritual life. There is yet time, and your hour is not past. Why delay your purpose? Arise! Begin at once and say: “Now is the time to act, now is the time to fight, now is the proper time to amend.” — Thomas a Kempis, “The Imitation of Christ”
I’m still struggling but I think I’m on my way back. I fell into a pretty deep abyss, and feel like I just about forgot God was there. But I know he was, and is, and will be… all I have to do is turn to him.
I’m not really sure what went wrong, aside from me letting the pain and exhaustion and discouraging new symptoms get to me. Pile a blizzard, loss of power and heat for a week, and other factors on top of that, and I went under big time. I’m not proud of it, but there it is — and it’s certainly something other Christians deal with all the time.
The hardest development to cope with is the vertigo. It started along with last fall’s virus, and doesn’t seem to be getting better. I went to the grocery store (alone) this morning and was dizzy and nauseated the entire time; had to hold onto my cart tight so I didn’t fall over! The neurologist writes it all off to fibromyalgia and has no suggestions on how to cope. I tried Meclazine but it didn’t work. I’m fine at home, but in large spaces I’m a mess. Not a HUGE deal, but it is a game changer, no doubt about that!
I don’t have anything pithy to say… just that I’m reaching out to God so he can pull me back on track.
Partly encouraged because I did finally publish again. This time it was self-publication, but that’s becoming more respected and accepted, and I needed to do something creative with all my down time. It’s a romance, with a fallen but virtuous heroine. I like that she’s real and not perfect, and has to overcome a few flaws.
Sometimes I find myself worrying about swearing and sexual situations in my books — but Christians struggle with these things, so I think my worry is more about how others will perceive me rather than that it’s “wrong.”
Just nattering on here, trying to get back into my routine.